Friday, October 12, 2007

The Plan.

(by the way, if any of you know me at all, you know that even making a plan was my first mistake. Our slogan/motto around here is 'we don't have plans... only vague ideas'. There should be t-shirts.)

So. Here's the plan, in mid-september:

Plan: No problem. Rhinebeck is weeks away. I'll just dye an extra 5 or 6 skeins a day until then, and I'll have tons of yarn for the show.

(insert vague wondering feeling.... 'how much yarn does one BRING to a show this size?')

Reality: What's that? The sheep need to be wormed and husband has injured his hand? no problem. Trusty farm hand Casey (a.k.a. jack of all trades, a.k.a. yarn slave) & I can handle that. 250 ewes and their 290 offspring: wormed.

*******

Plan: No problem. Rhinebeck is weeks away. I'll just dye an extra... oh, 10 skeins a day until then, and I'll be ready for the show.

(insert vague wondering feeling... 'how many of each kit should we take to this shin-dig?')

Reality: What's that you say? The chickens are ready for butchering, the flock needs to be moved to new pasture across the road, across the creek, up the hill and behind the back 40? No problem... , say honey, how's the hand? hmm, still sore. okee dokee, if we work together...

*******

Plan: No problem. Rhinebeck is weeks away. I'll just dye an extra... oh, dozen skeins a day until then, and I'll be ready for the show.

(insert vague wondering feeling... 'how the heck are we going to get this stuf to the show? The guy fixing the van hasn't called back in weeks - hope we still OWN a van... mental note to call him tomorrow.)

Reality: Oh right! Butcher chickens. Totally slipped my mind. No problem. Get up at butt-crack of dawn, start setup for butchering, get daughter out of the area.... 4 hours later, still several birds to go, vultures are starting to gather and my work table is in the sun. Pack it in, we're done for the day.

*******

Plan: No problem. Rhinebeck is weeks away. I'll just dye an extra... oh, 20 skeins a day until then, and I'll be ready for the show.

(insert vague wondering feeling...'are those our sheep outside the fences?' crap.)

Reality: Round up sheep. Put up temporary fences in new location, move sheep to that spot. What's that? Finish with the chickens you say? Well no, not yet, I thought I'd dye some yarn... well yes, they are getting quite large... took on the barn cat and won you say? Ok. Set up, butcher chickens... slice open knuckle. Quality time in the ER.

*******

Plan: No problem. Rhinebeck is weeks away. I'll just dye an extra... oh, 40 skeins a day until then, and I'll be ready for the show.

(insert vague worrying feeling...)

Reality: Ok, I'll wait until I can take the bandages off, and move my finger again. and squeeze out the yarn. and stir the pot. What's that? the freakin' sheep need to move again?? But my hand! Ok, if we work together...

*******

Plan: No problem. (note twitch under left eye) Rhinebeck is not so many weeks away. I'll just dye an extra... oh, 60 skeins a day until then, and I'll be ready for the show. One handed.

(insert vague sleepless look, forgetfulness and worrying feeling...)

Reality: What's that? Help load the pigs to go to butcher, 5 lambs and a cow? Chickens?? I DID the - oh, the next and now ready group... here, call this guy and pay him to do it. Hey, speaking of calling the guy... where the H**L is our VAN??? Mental note: call around for rental vehicle. Ok, CSA customers? Why yes, we do have several wonderful.... you mean it's the first of the month already?? Okee dokee, baking bread & packing the coolers. No problem (twitch). Hey look! An 18 wheeler double-decker livestock trailer! Looks like the one the guy uses who buys lambs from us... and he's pulling in our driveway. Is that today?? Ok, nothing like sorting 170 lambs out of the mob and loading them on the truck to kill some time...

*******

Plan: No problem. (twitch.) Rhinebeck is weeks ... when?? (insert panic attack here) I'll just dye an extra... oh, 90 skeins a day until then, and I'll be ready for the show.

(insert anxiety twitches at random, and I wonder how to display the yarns at the show...)

4 comments:

Tsarina of Tsocks said...

Wait - didn't you leave out some things? Like... skeining and dyeing and assembling kits for the sock club? Like... the wholesale yarn orders? Like... getting a whole shipment of the WRONG base yarn replaced? Like... throwing a birthday party for your daughter? Like... dyeing and re-dyeing and re-re-dyeing samples because some wacko designer got all persnickety on you and couldn't give you the straight dope on what she actually wanted?

I'm sure you're leaving stuff out.

The cruel irony about that first wondering feeling is... how many years have you been exhibiting at Rhinebeck, and how long have you been selling yarn...? and there's STILL no way to know the answer, because things change every year.

What a life.

Pat said...

...and seeing as it's you, you'll end up executing the whole thing beautifully and sell out of everything at Rhinebeck because really - who could resist? Oh and sleep is overrated.

Astrid said...

The day my to-do list includes "butcher chickens", I'd be twitching, too!

Kim said...

Wow, and I think I have a lot to do for Rhinebeck. Make list of stuff to buy, pack bags and drive up there. You're on my blogger bingo card so I'll be looking for you! Space 26D, right?